The Rubber Rose Review

I love this advice I heard on NPR’s Tell Me More. A group of active seniors gave this common sense advice for living well into your 70s and beyond.

• Have many interests. As many interests as possible will serve you well in your old age.
• Be around younger people; having lots of younger friends will keep you active and feeling relevant.
• Don’t retire mentally. Keep your mind alive and challenge yourself.
• Don’t stop exercising.
• And above all else, remember that there is no such thing as “retirement.”

Looks like those of us with measly IRAs will do just fine in our golden years!

When I was a kid, we would sing the lyrics to “La Cucaracha,” completely unaware that the song is talking about . . . .

D O P E!

I’m embarrassed to admit that as a grown up Latina, I had no idea that we were happily singing about vile insects that go around smoking dope.Where the heck were my parents? Didn’t they realize what we were singing?

I just found out today while listening to an Old Timey music show. What a pocha!

Did you know the lyrics?

La cucaracha, la cucaracha
Ya no puede caminar
Porque no tiene, porque le falta
Marijuana que fumar.

(The cockroach, the cockroach
Now he can’t go traveling
Because he doesn’t have, because he lacks
Marijuana to smoke.)

Ya la murio la cucaracha
Ya la lleven a enterrar
Entre cuatro zopilotes
Y un raton de sacristan.

(The cockroach just died
And they carried him off to bury him
Among four buzzards
And the sexton’s mouse.)

Now that I know what we were really talking about here, can someone tell me what a sexton is?

I climb the road to Cold Mountain,

the road to Cold Mountain that never ends.

The valleys are long and strewn with stones,

the streams broad and banked with thick grass.

Moss is slippery, though no rain has fallen;

pines sigh, but it isn’t the wind.

Who can break from the snares of the world

and sit with me among the white clouds?

– Han-Shan

The Rockies beckon, I recon

I’m ready to stay in this strange place called “home”

where I will gradually fall into a routine

and forget what it’s like to roam.

at least for a while.

Summer aspens are still bare

but soon their clackety leaves will appear

The Moose will roam far and yonder,

the rains will come and the sky will go BOOM!

all of this I’ll watch from the comfort of my

nice

big

comfy

living

room.

It’s Summertime in the Rockies!

There’s only so much that a coastal-born, almost-vegan cowgirl can take.

After spending several months living among dry scrubby lands infested with dirt devils and thorny plants that could pierce your skull in two, I packed my bags and headed west.

Back to the land of tall trees and foggy coast. Sucky weather but some of the best damn seafood you’ll ever have in your life.

Where kumomoto oysters sprout up from the cold ocean waters like the poppies along Highway 101.

How could I resist?

Pop one in your mouth and feel the Pacific Ocean’s crisp salty air flood your palette while the most, meaty creature slides down your throat.

Yum!

City living has some advantages. Not many in my book, but take for example Food Fight!, an all-vegan grocery store in Portland, Oregon.

This tiny little radical store carries nothing but cruelty-free products like vegan calamari.

Yes, you read that right: vegan calamari, made by Sophie’s Kitchen from Northern California (where else?)

What’s it made of?

Konjac, or Elephant Yam. A plant grown and used in Asia for hundreds of years. The Japanese see it as a healthy fibrous food. (Sophie’s Kitchen) uses the root of the plant for the start to make things like vegan calamari.

Some veganazi’s might say that vegan seafood is a hypocritical attempt at winning over wanna-be’s who can’t give up the animal products, but I don’t care.

I thought it was excellent and pretty close to the real thing (which I absolutely love…except for the tentacles!). Even carnivore hubby was impressed, which blew me away.

In my vegetarian to vegan transition, giving up seafood has been difficult. I love seafood. I just hate the fact that be eating it, I’m contributing to ocean depletion. This vegan calamari thing is impressive and I hope to taste other aquatic animal species knock-offs.

The other crazy meat knock-off I found at Food Fight was this Vegetarian Haggis.

Not being of Scottish descent, I can’t say I’ve ever tried the real thing or would ever want to. It’s pretty disgusting.

But then again, so is Menudo, which I grew up on, and until recently ate on special occasions with la familia.

So I suppose if I was Anglo and fond of this meat dish, one of the foulest sounding ones I’ve ever heard of, I would dig it.

There are some pretty neat things on the horizon when it comes to the vegan lifestyle. I think our society is at a turning point and even people like my husband are willing to go out on a limb and try things they never would have before. If not for health reasons, then for the simple fact that we all know how damaging eating animal products is to the environment.

And who wants to say they contributed to that?

“A woman would run through fire and water for such a kind heart.”
- William Shakespeare

Kind heart, indeed.

Happy Valentine’s Day, sweetie pie.

I’ll run through anything for you, anytime.

Sunshine and cacti tends to conjure up images of sunbathing and margaritas.

Unfortunately, that’s far from the reality we’re experiencing this week.

Cold temperatures and high winds in the Arizona desert mean we’re stuck inside trying to stay warm, hoping our water tank doesn’t freeze.

Come on Mother Nature, quit messing with us! We don’t make the effort to pack up our stuff and fly south for nothing. Bring it on, we want some heat, darnit!

To me, eating super healthy and dairy-free is just a little easier when your homestead is in one place.

Something about having room for lots of ingredients and odds and ends spices makes living a semi-vegan lifestyle a lot more enjoyable.

But here in the chuckwagon, where cabinet space is at a premium, and your Dr. Bronner’s competes for space with your underwear, it’s tough getting enthused to make a loaf of bread when the ingredients are scattered in just about every corner except the water closet.

We bought these insta-vegan sauces at an all-vegan grocery store in Portland, Oregon. But honestly, they kinda suck. At least in comparison to what we can make on our own.

When it comes to convenience, few vegan foods are better than what you can make on your own.

I’m trying to live the vegan lifestyle, but as we approach the holidays (oh wait, they’re here…damn), it’s getting more difficult. When I go home for Christmas, it’s gonna be even worse as Mom looks at me with a perplexed look because she just can’t figure out why I would not want to eat her Mexican dinners smothered in cheese and sour cream.

But I’m gonna stand my ground, and do my best. It’s all anyone can do.

Commit to doing the least you can do. Then commit to doing at least that much.