The Rubber Rose Review

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I did not write this. Baxter Black did, in “Hey Cowboy, Wanna Get Lucky?”

But this hits home, because I often feel this way, especially as we travel America’s roads while getting screwed up the a$$ at the fuel pump.

“Sympathetic reader, have you ever been the helpless victim of some grand design? Does the term “eminent domain” make you shudder? Did the new truck bypass leave your little Main Street business high and dry? Did they find an endangered species in your pasture and condemn your farm? Did they raise your taxes? Close your bank? Cancel your favorite TV show?

 

And who did these deeds that so affected you personally? The answer is, dear friends, the infamous “THEY.” They who are the wheelers and dealers, the seedy and greedy, the lickers and stickers, the kissers and pissers!

 

The honor bending, condescending, all important, influential, anonymous They. When They, these influential people, do something, they usually make waves. Innocent bystanders get washed away with the tide. That is not to say that influential people are mean-spirited or uncaring. They are simply unconscious of the far reaching consequences of their little amusements.”

I don’t buy Black’s assertion that unconsciousness is an excuse for the shitty things that They are capable of in this capitalistic society of ours.

But it still made me go “YEAH!”

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On this Valentine’s Day, I don’t want chocolates or champagne, a dinner out or silk lingerie.

You can’t buy what I want.

All I want, for now and always, is your patience.

As I try to be the best person I can be, every day of the year.

And that, my dear, is my present to you.

Every day is Valentine’s Day.

I love you forever and always . . .

I come to you with empty hands
I guess I just forgot again
I only got my love to send
On Valentine’s Day

I ain’t got a card to sign
Roses have been hard to find
I only hope that you’ll be mine
On Valentine’s Day

I know that I swore that I wouldn’t forget
I wrote it all down: I lost it I guess
There’s so much I want to say
But all the words just slip away

The way you love me every day
Is Valentine’s Day

If I could I would deliver to you
Diamonds and gold; it’s the least I can do
So if you’ll take my IOU
I could make it up to you
Until then I hope my heart will do
For Valentine’s Day

“Valentine’s Day” by Steve Earle

I love this advice I heard on NPR’s Tell Me More. A group of active seniors gave this common sense advice for living well into your 70s and beyond.

• Have many interests. As many interests as possible will serve you well in your old age.
• Be around younger people; having lots of younger friends will keep you active and feeling relevant.
• Don’t retire mentally. Keep your mind alive and challenge yourself.
• Don’t stop exercising.
• And above all else, remember that there is no such thing as “retirement.”

Looks like those of us with measly IRAs will do just fine in our golden years!

When I was a kid, we would sing the lyrics to “La Cucaracha,” completely unaware that the song is talking about . . . .

D O P E!

I’m embarrassed to admit that as a grown up Latina, I had no idea that we were happily singing about vile insects that go around smoking dope.Where the heck were my parents? Didn’t they realize what we were singing?

I just found out today while listening to an Old Timey music show. What a pocha!

Did you know the lyrics?

La cucaracha, la cucaracha
Ya no puede caminar
Porque no tiene, porque le falta
Marijuana que fumar.

(The cockroach, the cockroach
Now he can’t go traveling
Because he doesn’t have, because he lacks
Marijuana to smoke.)

Ya la murio la cucaracha
Ya la lleven a enterrar
Entre cuatro zopilotes
Y un raton de sacristan.

(The cockroach just died
And they carried him off to bury him
Among four buzzards
And the sexton’s mouse.)

Now that I know what we were really talking about here, can someone tell me what a sexton is?

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u0nQMgaJibc[/youtube]

I climb the road to Cold Mountain,

the road to Cold Mountain that never ends.

The valleys are long and strewn with stones,

the streams broad and banked with thick grass.

Moss is slippery, though no rain has fallen;

pines sigh, but it isn’t the wind.

Who can break from the snares of the world

and sit with me among the white clouds?

— Han-Shan

The Rockies beckon, I recon

I’m ready to stay in this strange place called “home”

where I will gradually fall into a routine

and forget what it’s like to roam.

at least for a while.

Summer aspens are still bare

but soon their clackety leaves will appear

The Moose will roam far and yonder,

the rains will come and the sky will go BOOM!

all of this I’ll watch from the comfort of my

nice

big

comfy

living

room.

It’s Summertime in the Rockies!

There’s only so much that a coastal-born, almost-vegan cowgirl can take.

After spending several months living among dry scrubby lands infested with dirt devils and thorny plants that could pierce your skull in two, I packed my bags and headed west.

Back to the land of tall trees and foggy coast. Sucky weather but some of the best damn seafood you’ll ever have in your life.

Where kumomoto oysters sprout up from the cold ocean waters like the poppies along Highway 101.

How could I resist?

Pop one in your mouth and feel the Pacific Ocean’s crisp salty air flood your palette while the most, meaty creature slides down your throat.

Yum!

City living has some advantages. Not many in my book, but take for example Food Fight!, an all-vegan grocery store in Portland, Oregon.

This tiny little radical store carries nothing but cruelty-free products like vegan calamari.

Yes, you read that right: vegan calamari, made by Sophie’s Kitchen from Northern California (where else?)

What’s it made of?

Konjac, or Elephant Yam. A plant grown and used in Asia for hundreds of years. The Japanese see it as a healthy fibrous food. (Sophie’s Kitchen) uses the root of the plant for the start to make things like vegan calamari.

Some veganazi’s might say that vegan seafood is a hypocritical attempt at winning over wanna-be’s who can’t give up the animal products, but I don’t care.

I thought it was excellent and pretty close to the real thing (which I absolutely love…except for the tentacles!). Even carnivore hubby was impressed, which blew me away.

In my vegetarian to vegan transition, giving up seafood has been difficult. I love seafood. I just hate the fact that be eating it, I’m contributing to ocean depletion. This vegan calamari thing is impressive and I hope to taste other aquatic animal species knock-offs.

The other crazy meat knock-off I found at Food Fight was this Vegetarian Haggis.

Not being of Scottish descent, I can’t say I’ve ever tried the real thing or would ever want to. It’s pretty disgusting.

But then again, so is Menudo, which I grew up on, and until recently ate on special occasions with la familia.

So I suppose if I was Anglo and fond of this meat dish, one of the foulest sounding ones I’ve ever heard of, I would dig it.

There are some pretty neat things on the horizon when it comes to the vegan lifestyle. I think our society is at a turning point and even people like my husband are willing to go out on a limb and try things they never would have before. If not for health reasons, then for the simple fact that we all know how damaging eating animal products is to the environment.

And who wants to say they contributed to that?

“A woman would run through fire and water for such a kind heart.”
– William Shakespeare

Kind heart, indeed.

Happy Valentine’s Day, sweetie pie.

I’ll run through anything for you, anytime.